Guarding Your Teen’s Mental Health: How to Break Free from Stigma and Silence |
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Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. — John 14:27 |
I’m an expert and seasoned pediatric nurse practitioner. But parents, can we agree it’s difficult to be objective with our own kids? Our emotional investment clouds rational thought and we fall into the “you don’t understand, this is my baby” mentality. We intensely fear fatal injuries or debilitating diseases such as cancer. We don’t fear things like depression or anxiety because those seem less scary and, frankly, something we think we can control. It took me two years to realize my daughter was having panic attacks.
When we find out it’s not something “serious,” our natural reaction is to feel relieved. When we hear “anxiety,” we think, “Oh, is that all?” There’s often a mixture of doubt and, if we’re honest, annoyance. Our secret inner monologue says, “Is this real? For attention?” We want a rapid anxiety test like a rapid strep test. Then we want a quick fix, like the “pink stuff”! - As parents we treat issues of mental health much differently than physical health.
Imagine your teen says they’re having trouble seeing the board at school. It’s blurry and gives them a headache. Your likely instinct is to call an optometrist to promptly schedule an appointment. If you’re told your teen is nearsighted and needs glasses, you excitedly choose flattering frames. You affirm their choice and compliment their appearance with words of encouragement and a social media showcase, right? You follow up to make sure they can now see the board at school. You may be wondering where this is going.
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Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. — John 14:27 |
Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. — John 14:27
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Think with me about a different ending. Say this story starts the same way, but instead of calling an optometrist, you tell your teen they’re probably not getting enough sleep and advise a wait-and-see approach. It gets worse. You decide maybe it’s diet related and go gluten-free everything. This doesn’t help, so you buy some vitamin supplements and do some internet searching. You argue with your spouse or your mother about it. It’s been six months. Now the teacher is calling. Grades are dropping. You finally go to the optometrist, and they tell you your teen is nearsighted and needs glasses. You respectfully say thank you, but you’re not ready to do something that extreme and would like another opinion before purchasing glasses.
You start to wonder if your faith is strong enough and why you can’t just pull yourself together and be a better parent with more faith so your child can see clearly. This may seem ridiculous, but here’s the kicker: this is exactly what we do with mental health. -
Today’s teens are experiencing the compounding mental health effects of social isolation, social media, social justice, and social stigma.1
Even before COVID-19, eight million children had a recognized mental health disorder. One in three high school students felt sad and hopeless most of the time, a 40 percent increase from the previous decade.2 Only about half of children diagnosed with a mental health condition actually receive treatment.3 Mental health crises among teens are skyrocketing with increasing emergency room visits for self-harm and suicidal behaviors, prompting an advisory from the US surgeon general.4 Teens with untreated mental health conditions are more likely to engage in risk-taking behaviors including unhealthy sexual activity, alcohol consumption, drug use, and acts of violence.5 Two of the most common mental health conditions faced by teens are depression and anxiety.
Stigma and bias with mental health is real. When considering your teen’s mental health, it’s important to have an open mind. If your teen voices feelings of anxiety or depression, stop what you’re doing. Listen carefully and respectfully. Resist the urge to be dismissive. Normalize these feelings as indications to see a health-care provider just as you would if your teen reported a sore throat or fever. Take every opportunity to increase your comfort in talking about mental health. Conveying to a teen their struggle is a secret implies shame and builds anxiety. Stigma prevents teens from reaching out and creates reluctance to seek help. Seek counseling or care for yourself if you’re struggling personally or struggling to accept your teen’s mental health condition. Lastly, never see your child’s mental health through the lens of your parenting success or failure. That’s a dangerous trap.
Parents, teens desperately need you to initiate these conversations with confidence and grace while sparing their dignity. Choose to empower your teen to be confident about any diagnosis they may have, knowing they’re equipped to learn more about their condition and access resources without harboring self-stigma. -
Nicole Bartek, Jessica Peck, Dawn Garzon, and Susan VanCleve, “Addressing the Clinical Impact of COVID-19 on Pediatric Mental Health,” Journal of Pediatric Health Care 35, no. 4 (July 2021): 377–86, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pedhc.2021.03.006, https://www .jpedhc.org/article/S0891-5245(21)00054-7/fulltext.
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Carmen Heredia Rodriguez, “Children’s Hospitals Grapple with Wave of Mental Illness,” Kaiser Health News, January 6, 2021, https://khn.org /news/article/childrens-hospitals-grapple-with-wave-of-mental-illness/.
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David Finkelhor, Heather Turner, and Deirdre LaSelva, “Receipt of Behavioral Health Services Among US Children and Youth with Adverse Childhood Experiences or Mental Health Symptoms,” JAMA Network Open 4, no. 3, March 15, 2021, https://doi.org/10.1001 /jamanetworkopen.2021.1435, https://jamanetwork.com/journals /jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2777440?resultClick=3.
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U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory, Protecting Youth Mental Health, 2021, https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-youth -mental-health-advisory.pdf.
- “Mental Health,” HealthyPeople.gov, accessed March 24, 2022, https://www.healthypeople.gov/2020/leading-health-indicators /2020-lhi-topics/Mental-Health.
Adapted with permission from Behind Closed Doors: A Guide to Help Parents and Teens Navigate through Life’s Toughest Issues, by Jessica L. Peck, DNP, APRN. * |
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You might have a short conversation with your teen or it might open a floodgate you didn’t know existed. Rest assured even if the conversation was ho-hum, your teen is now better prepared to act in the future. Maybe this was a difficult subject to discuss because you or a family member has a diagnosis previously undisclosed to your teen and it brought up difficult emotions. If you’ve never sought help for yourself but are wondering if maybe you should, the answer is unequivocally yes. Reach out to someone who loves you and take steps to seek professional resources.
~ Laurie McClure, Faith.Full |
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Share this devotion with someone who needs it today. |
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