Saul was the son of a man named Kish. Various Bible translations describe Saul’s dad as a man of “standing,” “power,” “stalwart character,” and “influence and wealth” (1 Samuel 9:1). One day Kish’s donkeys wandered off, so he tasked Saul with going to look for them: “Take one of the servants with you and go and look for the donkeys” (1 Samuel 9:3). Now, the fact that his dad said to take one of the servants meant there were many servants, and having donkeys (plural) indicates that Kish was a wealthy man. Therefore, so was Saul.
Saul set out with one of the servants to search for the missing donkeys. Unbeknownst to him, God had told a prophet named Samuel that Saul was coming to see him and that Saul was to be anointed king of Israel. When Saul showed up, Samuel invited him to stay and eat with him and then added, “As for the donkeys you lost three days ago, do not worry about them; they have been found. And to whom is all the desire of Israel turned, if not to you and your whole family line?” (1 Samuel 9:20).
Saul was flabbergasted. Stunned. I can imagine him thinking, “Huh? I just came here looking for our donkeys. Why would a prophet ask me to stay for a couple of days if the donkeys have been found? Wait a minute. What did he say about my family? That all the desire of Israel has turned toward us? What? What is he saying?” After gathering his thoughts, Saul said,
But am I not a Benjamite, from the smallest tribe of Israel, and is not my clan the least of all the clans of the tribe of Benjamin? Why do you say such a thing to me? — 1 Samuel 9:21
There were twelve tribes of Israel, and each tribe was named for one of the sons of a patriarch named Jacob, whose name was later changed to Israel. Before his death, Israel (Jacob) had blessed each of his twelve sons. Since Benjamin was the youngest son, he was blessed last. Although his tribe ended up being the smallest, the Benjamites were mighty and well resourced. Unfortunately, despite the resources Saul’s tribe had, comparing himself to the other tribes caused him to see himself as lacking.
- Sometimes toxic comparison diminishes us by making us small in our own eyes.
I have read Saul’s response to Samuel countless times. It is this very response that inspired me to write this book because it puzzled me. Consider these facts from Saul’s story:
- Saul told Samuel he didn’t understand why all of Israel’s desire was turned toward him and his family.
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Saul believed his family occupied an insignificant position among the tribes of the nation of Israel.
- Saul’s story begins by stating that Saul’s family was one of “standing,” “power,” “stalwart character,” and “influence and wealth.”
This begs the question of where Saul got the idea that he came from an inconsequential and unimportant family. Why did he think he was less-than, not good enough, and didn’t measure up? Wherever the idea came from, his unwillingness to let go of it would cost him the kingdom just a few decades later.
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Saul’s eventual downfall as king was rooted in insecurity-fueled disobedience.
God had instructed Saul to obliterate a population of people known as the Amalekites (1 Samuel 15). Many generations earlier, the Amalekites had attacked Israel when they were tired, weak, and vulnerable during their wilderness journey out of Egypt (Exodus 17:8–16). Saul was not only to kill the Amalekites but also to destroy everything they owned. But instead of obeying God, Saul caved when his soldiers pressured him to keep rather than destroy the good stuff — the best cattle, the best sheep, and more.
Big mistake.
The Lord sent the prophet Samuel to pronounce judgment:
Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, He has rejected you as king. — 1 Samuel 15:23
Saul’s heart dropped, and he tried to rationalize his decision: “I was afraid of the men and so I gave in to them” (1 Samuel 15:24). After decades of occupying the role and identity of king of Israel, Saul still saw himself as the kid who came from the most insignificant clan in the smallest tribe of Israel. He had more money, power, influence, and standing than anyone else in Israel, but it wasn’t enough. He couldn’t see past who he had been despite who he had become.
- Toxic comparison filters our present identity through our past deficiencies.
“Although you were once small in your own eyes,” Samuel responded, “did you not become the head of the tribes of Israel? The Lord anointed you king over Israel” (1 Samuel 15:17). The kingdom was ultimately taken from Saul because, even after all God had done to change Saul’s identity, he had secured his identity to the fickle affirmation of other human beings. He wanted their applause more than he wanted God’s approval. And because of this, God told Samuel it was time to anoint a new king.
The story goes on to introduce a new family, the family of Jesse of Bethlehem. In contrast to the way Kish, Saul’s father, was introduced, the text uses no flowery words to describe Jesse. He is simply introduced as “Jesse of Bethlehem” (1 Samuel 16:1).
At God’s command, Samuel traveled to Bethlehem and asked to meet Jesse’s sons. Samuel knew God had chosen one of Jesse’s sons to be king, but he didn’t know which one. After Jesse introduced seven of his sons, God told Samuel that none of them were to be anointed king. So Samuel asked Jesse if there were any additional sons. “Yeah, the youngest is out there tending sheep,” Jesse responded. Jesse sent for him, and when young David stood before Samuel, God affirmed, “This is the one” (1 Samuel 16:12).
Although we might expect David to be perplexed and have questions, Scripture records no response from him to these surprising events. Under the same circumstances that led Saul to question his worthiness, David appears to suffer no self-doubt. Just as every word of Scripture is intentional, I also believe every missing word is intentional. I will not add to what is missing, but I invite you to take an imaginary journey with me for a moment.
Imagine your teenage self, minding your business and mowing your parents’ grass when one of your siblings comes outside and says, “Hey, Dad wants you.” You stop, turn off the lawn mower, and make your way inside the house. Standing there are your seven siblings and your father. All eyes are on you when an unknown, gray-haired man walks toward you. When he reaches you, he says nothing, pulls out a bottle of olive oil, and pours it over your head. When the last drop slides down your forehead, he turns to the group and pronounces, “Introducing the new king of Israel.”
What might you think? Perhaps something like, “Huh?” Or, “Why me?” Or maybe, “This is interesting.”
What’s significant is how David’s thinking differs from Saul’s thinking. Specifically, how David doesn’t ask Samuel the question Saul had asked, which was a question rooted in the opinion of others. A question rooted in the valuation of others. A question rooted in comparison to others. In contrast to Saul, David does not ask, “Why would you anoint me king?” Instead, the Bible simply says,
From that day on the Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon David. — 1 Samuel 16:13–14
Meanwhile, the Spirit had departed from Saul.
God had chosen both men to be king, but while Saul secured his identity to who others said he was, David secured his identity to who God said he was.
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Your identity is secure when you believe that what God says about you is true.
- Australian Institute of Professional Counselors, “The Rise and Rise of the Selfie,” Counselling Connection, September 17, 2019, https://www.counsellingconnection.com/index.php/2019/09/17/the -rise-and-rise-of-the-selfie/.
Excerpted with permission from Killing Comparison by Nona Jones, copyright Nona Jones.
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